Posts

Encouragement in Recovery

by Kristy Pomeroy, Community Services Manager of The Next Door

Freedom Recovery Community is a very busy place this summer. We currently have 21 women and 22 children living on property full time and have 12 children who come for visitation. Most of the days are quiet as women are working and children are at day care or day camps. Their evenings are spent in family time outside or playing games, going to groups and much more. My favorite thing about our community is the way this group encourages each other. In order to reach all of the families we have a group text where we send reminders about group schedule, activities and chores on a weekly basis. The women also communicate to each other through the group text. Here are some examples of the recent texts that have been posted:

“Went to a really good 12-step meeting at a church tonight. Going back next Wednesday for anyone who wants to ride along.”

“Thank you for the fresh vegetables from the garden as we are having cucumbers and tomatoes for dinner!”

“Good girl! Change the Stigma!”

“You have some amazing and awesome kids who helped me carry in my groceries. You have no idea how much I needed that today!”

“So what’s next? You heal. You grow. And you help others.”

“Trying Celebrate Recovery tonight…who wants to go?”

“I have never led a meeting, but I am willing (to try) today.”

“I am so grateful for my sisters at FRC.”

The women at FRC are truly living out the scripture to “Encourage one another and build each other up” (Thessalonians 5:11) on a daily basis.

Mom Guilt

by Candise Hendricks, Grant Writer for The Next Door

Hello! My name is Candise, and I am The Next Door’s grant writer. I’m blessed to be the mother of two beautiful little girls. Both are under the age of three. Prayers for patience and sleep are appreciated! After both of my daughters were born, many people asked me if I was going to continue to work full-time, and often, when I confirmed that that was my decision, the response was some kind of variation of “Oh, I bet you are going to miss those precious babies!” And IT would hit me.

Mom Guilt.

Yikes. I felt horrible for continuing to work; how can I leave those sweet girls with someone else for hours and hours when I should be the one caring for them?! I would have to remind myself of the discussions I had with my husband. I loved having my own career outside of being a mom; it was and is a part of my identity. I realized that I would feel ashamed about NOT working, too. Mom Guilt can be completely irrational.

While I’ve learned how to handle it better, I still deal with this on a regular basis. Any time I choose to do something for myself, no matter how small or beneficial, I feel a little twinge of unease. Go on a movie date with the hubs? Mom Guilt. Ask my mother-in-law to watch the kids for an hour so that I can work out? Mom Guilt. Take five more minutes of time in the bathroom to just breathe with my eldest screaming at the door? MOM GUILT.

How does this tie back to my job? Because I’m often holed up writing and researching, I don’t get many chances to interact with the women seeking substance abuse treatment at The Next Door. However, one thing I do know from my brief interactions with these ladies (usually on my way back and forth from the coffee machine) is that most are mothers or caretakers in some way. This isn’t surprising for a facility devoted to the care of women. However, with Mother’s Day coming up soon, it hit me that these women must be feeling massive waves of Mom Guilt.

I cannot imagine how much strength it would take to admit that I needed help, to focus entirely on MY disease of addiction, and to commit to take the time AWAY from my children to get the treatment I needed. Even though working toward recovery and getting mentally, physically, and spiritually healthier would be life-changing, getting over this mental barrier of guilt and shame would be overwhelming for me. But the women who are here at The Next Door do it ALL. THE. TIME. There are women here who are being successful at managing their substance addiction and conquering this internal struggle every day!

This year, for Mother’s Day, I’ve challenged myself to completely let go of my meaningless Mom Guilt and accept the idea that sometimes taking care of me IS taking care of my family, as well. And every time I get the urge to feel bad about it, I will send up a prayer for the women receiving life-saving substance abuse treatment at The Next Door, who are facing all sorts of challenges to live better lives for their families and for themselves.

Many Blessings and HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

Weather Changes

by Cindy Sneed, Chief Clinical Officer of The Next Door

The first day of spring might have been March 20th, but that didn’t stop Mother Nature from unleashing some of the most interesting weather in Nashville this year. We had unbelievable amounts of rain, freezing temperatures, and to top it all – SNOW on April 16th!

How does this relate to Addiction Treatment?

The journey to sobriety is an unpredictable one… as is life! At The Next Door, we see rays of sunshine in the women we serve each day. We see them grasp a step in the 12 Steps. We see them become aware of who they are through an individual or group counseling session. But there are also days when it seems like a small cloud might be hanging around. We trust – we have to – that the cloud and its rain are providing much-needed refreshment for the seeds that have been planted. If the sun were to shine all the time, we would become parched and wish for rain. We first meet our clients when they are in the middle of their storm. Dolly Parton said it so well when she said, “Storms make trees take deeper roots.”

The women at The Next Door often wonder if it’s possible they will ever experience warmth from the sun again. We see after a week or even a few days the clouds begin to part. Then the real work begins.

In my 14 years at The Next Door, I’ve seen all kinds of weather. It is both the rain and sun and everything in between that keeps me coming back to see the rays of sunshine that will surely shine again soon.

Life-Changing Recovery

by April Barnes, Director of Admissions of The Next Door

Several months into working at The Next Door, I was having a conversation with my mother and she brought something to my attention that I was floored with gratitude to realize.

She reminded me of the program she entered into over 10 years ago that had given her a safe place to transition into; an opportunity for true recovery. In 2006, my mother was released from the women’s prison and, upon leaving, was able to go straight from incarceration to a program that provided structure, routine, and accountability. Of most importance, this program offered a second chance at life. Not having to return to the streets or to the same environment (people, places and things) provided her the opportunity of a life with hope and a fresh start.

That program was The Next Door’s Re-Entry program. A program for women that was designed specifically to help women coming straight from incarceration to rebuild her life.

I didn’t realize that I was working at “THE Next Door,” because I didn’t recognize it to be what I had remembered. THIS new building? With all of these new services? That much growth and change since 2006! You see, my memories were of that building on 8th Avenue. I have many memories of arriving to pick up my mom for weekend or day passes, to go play softball at Centennial Park or to go have cookouts at the lake. Memories of my mother surrounded by all of her children for the first time. Having grown up separately from my siblings, this was a new experience for all of us to be together. It was joy in its purest form.

I hold on to and cherish those memories because during that time, for the first time in my life, I was building a healthy relationship with and experiencing my mother in true sobriety. SOBER. She had a light in her eyes, a freedom in her spirit, and a joy in her presence that was contagious.

The Next Door now offers treatment to women no matter her entry point. From detox to residential to outpatient services, we are here to help a woman at any point of her recovery journey. Understanding relapse as a part of the recovery journey for many, The Next Door offers a safe detox by providing medical monitoring during their acute withdrawal process. For continued care services after detox, we offer residential inpatient treatment and outpatient treatment services.

The impact of a woman becoming clean and sober can make a difference in the generational pattern that follows. This type of recovery IS life changing.

I’m so thankful for this organization, and to the women who prayed and listened to the call to build this ministry. Philippians 2:13 tells us “For it is God who is working in you, enabling you both to desire and to work out his good purpose.” I am blessed to be able to be a part of this missional work and to be a part of a team of devoted professionals called according to this purpose.

Season of Renewal

by Sallie Hussey, Chief Development Officer of The Next Door

Spring is such a beautiful season of renewal. You see it all around and in many forms – flowers starting to bloom, neighbors dusting off lawn mowers to give the yard its first cut of the season, and drive-through car washes with lines around the block. With more daylight now, I see entire families on long strolls testing out bicycles from Christmas.

We see renewal here, too, as women discover how to live a new life in recovery. Watching strong, courageous women overcome a new challenge each day and blossom during their time at The Next Door is humbling. Years of substance addiction have worn down so many women and families physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I see changes happen in the women who are here and it’s just like the awakening in my own neighborhood each spring. Like most staff, I’m occasionally blessed with a brief hallway conversation once or twice a week with one of our women. In every case, I walk back to my office convinced of two things – women are resilient and God is present here. So many obstacles and barriers, like a snow storm on the first day of spring, threaten sobriety, but these strong, amazing women keep pushing forward. Staff (and amazing volunteers) here know that faith and prayer, layered on top of the very best treatment, are like sunshine on rich soil. They can and do produce the most beautiful results.

Addiction treatment is available for every woman and at TND it’s given with a special mix of compassion and grace. We are grateful to be a place of hope and renewal not just during the spring but all day, every day.

Light Bulb Moments at The Next Door

by Kate McKinnie, Development and Events Manager at The Next Door

One of my favorite things about working at The Next Door is hearing about or observing numerous “light bulb” moments that take place in a given day. They come from many different people who make up TND’s community (clients, family members, guests, current supporters) and happen in various settings.

Here are a few examples:

  • At the front desk of The Next Door, there is always a basket of encouraging scripture verses on slips of paper for clients to pick up as they pass by. I love it when the light bulb turns on and I hear clients say, “Ooh, that is just what I needed to read today!”
  • When donors or other visitors come for a tour of The Next Door, typically several of them will have a light bulb moment when they learn the full history of the organization and scope of its services. Often, I hear this remark: “I had no idea The Next Door did so much!”
  • At our annual Benefit Luncheon, after hearing a previous client share her story on stage, many donors reveal to me that they have that light bulb moment when they realize the women receiving care at The Next Door could be their daughter, sister, or friend, and how close to home addiction could be.
  • During a weekly group session facilitated by our amazing team of therapists on the topic of healthy relationships, many clients have the light bulb come on when they are able to identify an unhealthy pattern from past relationship choices, and how it’s led them down a destructive or dangerous path.
  • At evening family sessions or weekend visitation, many parents, family members, or spouses/significant others of The Next Door clients often see that light bulb come on when they learn that addiction is a disease and not just a poor choice on the part of their loved one.
  • Many mornings, after clients have had their morning devotional time, it is not uncommon to hear about that light bulb turning on when women say to staff, “Did you read Jesus Calling today? I swear – it was written just for me!”

Lord, thank you for the LIGHTBULB moments of awakening and new insights you are making possible through The Next Door’s ministry. We praise your name that change is possible when you speak to us and our hearts are open to what you have to teach us.

Change Can Be Hard

by Cindy Sneed, Chief Clinical Officer of The Next Door

Depending on the day, if you look up “New Year’s resolution failure rate,” the number is as high as 80% by February 1st. Change is hard! It’s also uncomfortable, especially when staying with the status quo is so much easier.

But then there are times we want change. We need change. And it can come at the most random times. For some it’s on New Years’ Day. For others it’s on their birthday – their personal “new year,” or the middle of a Tuesday morning in the summer. Where does this desire come from? What is behind those sudden bursts of motivation?

Oftentimes, when we answer the call to change something in our lives it can be beneficial–but it’s the sticking with it that matters.

Every day at The Next Door we ask women to change – change their thinking, change old influences, change their motivation, and change their perspectives. But our clients–like all human beings–can be resistant to change.

“One reason people resist change is because they focus on what they have to give up, instead of what they have to gain.” –Rick Godwin

Regardless of what leads women to want to change by seeking help at The Next Door, women under our care are encouraged and empowered to make the necessary changes to move into a new phase of life– one that does not include drugs or alcohol or unhealthy relationships. Our integrated team of healthcare professionals work together to help clients focus on their present – to live one moment at a time. We also help women dream, imagine, and explore their future GAINS–rather than viewing things they are giving up and focusing only on their past. A common phrase used in 12-step meetings and in group therapy sessions at The Next Door is, “nothing changes if nothing changes.” Just like making a new year’s resolution to lose weight or stop smoking, it begins with making small changes we can commit to, that eventually lead to new, healthy habits.

The most rewarding part of my job at The Next Door is engaging with our clients and witnessing their growth and return to healthiness. I love watching them become more open to willingness and possibility and making commitments to changing unhealthy behaviors. Recently, one of our clients made this statement to me on her final day of completing our 30-day residential treatment program: “you’ll be seeing me again – not as a client, but as your co-worker. I want to work at The Next Door one day and help other women like you all have helped me.” Now that’s not just change – that’s transformation!

For any of you who support The Next Door with prayer, volunteer time, financial donations, thank you for helping us make CHANGE possible in the lives of the women in our community.

Blog Post – Strong

Sallie Hussey

I grew up in a family of strong women. My sisters and I were fortunate to have vibrant, talented women, like my grandmother, and even great grandmother, who were wonderful examples. My grandmother, a newspaper reporter, gave me a giant hard-back Webster’s dictionary when I started first grade. She told me to “ask if I didn’t know the answer” and “find whatever you need to do your job.” I didn’t really understand that in elementary school but, certainly as the years passed, it started to sink in.

Growing up in the 70s and 80s, I saw my mother and grandmother juggle career and family. I know they had adult problems and struggles, but I was shielded from them. Now I see how truly difficult it often was and how many challenges and obstacles they faced. Today is no different, in many respects for women in 2017. The challenges of motherhood and career can be overwhelming. The stigma of addiction and mental health is real and still one of the many barriers a woman must face.

Maybe being raised in a family of women (mostly) helped prepare me for work at TND. I see amazing women every day who are here and are working to overcome the most extraordinary circumstances life has given them – balancing family, careers, maybe school, and now overcoming addiction. Women are resilient and we are born to survive. The Next Door is uniquely, and wonderfully, equipped to help women and we do it, every day. I smile when I see our case managers and therapists just chatting with a woman in the hall, or when I see how easily our clinical assistants bond with a frightened young woman on her first day. Each day women help women here and it’s beautiful to see.

My grandmother would say we’re helping these women “find what they need” to do their job. Those jobs are numerous and diverse – wife, mother, CEO, business owner, care taker, home owner, sister, friend, student, and so much more. I know what a blessing it was to grow up in a family of strong women. I’m blessed now, too, to have even a very small part in helping these amazingly strong women in their recovery from addiction. We would love to have you join us.

Sallie Hussey serves as the Chief Development Officer at The Next Door.

 

 

 

 

The Contributor – January’s Nonprofit Spotlight: The Next Door

The Next Door provides transitional housing and recovery programs for women coming out of incarceration, domestic violence, human trafficking, and drug and alcohol abuse. As one of Nashville’s first housing facilities and re-entry programs exclusively for women, The Next Door has helped hundreds of women in Middle Tennessee build lives of flourishing and hope.

Established in 2004 by a small group of women from First Baptist Church in Nashville, The Next Door was founded to address one of the largest unmet needs in Tennessee – when women are released from incarceration, they often lack adequate housing or a support system, two elements that are essential to a successful re-entry into society. With an average of 2,500 women released from prison each year since 2010 (Tennessee Department of Correction), the challenge these women face is a return to old neighborhoods, old habits and for many, old addictions. The Next Door exists to be the “next step” for women as they transition out of experiences of incarceration (as well as addiction, trauma or mental illness) and into lives that are thriving both physically and mentally.

Using an integrated model that serves the whole woman, The Next Door provides a wide range of services including housing, mental health counseling, addiction rehabilitation, medical care and job training to women in crisis.

“The Next Door serves as the hands and feet of Christ,” says Communications Director Alison Cooke. For her and almost all the other staff members at The Next Door, it is their Christian faith that serves as the foundation of their work. “Women are met with so many barriers when trying to battle their addiction. [We] help alleviate some of those barriers and give women hope they have never had before – or haven’t had in a long time.”

In the organization’s mission to assist in every aspect of a woman’s recovery, The Next Door also serves the children of their clients – both born and unborn. From medically monitored detoxification and addiction treatment for women who are pregnant, to tutoring, mentoring and drug abuse prevention services for their children, The Next Door continues to expand its core service areas so they can holistically help women in crisis.

The Next Door is growing in size as well as scope. In 2014, they moved their flagship rehabilitation center to a location off Charlotte Avenue and opened the Freedom Recovery Community, an apartment complex that provides safe, affordable housing and supportive services to women and their children. In their new facilities they now also offer recovery support groups, counseling and workforce development for their clients.

Looking for a way to get involved?

Whether you’d like to help with a special event, create welcome bags for new clients, donate clothes or assist the Food Service Team by serving lunch or dinner to residents, The Next Door has great volunteer opportunities for both individuals and families. Visit their website at thenextdoor.org to discover volunteer and donation opportunities.

If you or a woman you know is struggling with addiction and would like to speak with someone at The Next Door, please call 855-TND-HOPE.

http://thecontributor.org/news/januarys-nonprofit-spotlight-the-next-door-